Have you ever read a book and the story feels completely vivid? You can almost see the familiar town, taste their delicacies, and understand their way of life. The characters become your best friends and if you saw them tomorrow in the flesh, it wouldn’t be 100% surprising. Well, I’m happy to say that I have one of those stories currently in my life – Last Company of Heroes. It’s currently a free podcast and I cannot get enough of the story. I love the author’s many voices and I’m taken away into the wonders of Asteria and its magic every week. I cannot recommend it enough. So if you’re feeling a withdrawal from the Harry Potter series or any great love of fantasy, please check this out and give this new author some love on iTunes, Stitcher or Twitter.
As an admirer of LCoH characters, here’s my piece of fan-fantasy memoir, wishing you all had a beautiful, loving, and fun-filled Valentine’s Day.
The Princess and the PlayStation
Once upon a dark time, there was a princess who was very tired, exhausted by the ghost that haunted her bed chambers. The king thought her odd, and beckoned many men of the castle to raise her spirits, hoping she’d find a husband in the process. Many noble men came and brought her emeralds, cheese, embroidered dresses, and puppy shih-tzus. Although these fine gifts put a temporary smile on her face, she’d go to bed, tortured by her demons and wake up to a new cloudy day.
One of these days, I believe it was a Tuesday, the town’s engineer came to visit Princess Kiara. She was bored out of her mind, sitting on her uncomfortable throne, which lacked lumbar support. The man with dazzling blue eyes placed a heavy black box on the ground before her. “Your highness, I offer you a PlayStation.”
“PlayStation?” the princess asked with confusion.
“Yes, it is a device I’ve created from scraps of metal. It’s used by the townsmen to play RPGs.” The engineer smiled proudly, despite the tattered hems on his pants.
“Yes, they are games men frequently play. You can travel to different worlds, ride chocobos, summon creatures, and become a save point whore.”
“Can I kill people?” she asked, sitting on the edge of her regal red chair.
“Yes, but I’d prefer to battle your monsters while you discover hidden treasures.”
A smile crept onto Princess Kiara’s face. “Spoken like a true knight. Tell me sir, why do you wish me to play a man’s game?”
He bowed, turning his head up, just enough for their eyes to meet. “Pardon me for being so blunt your highness, but I had grown fond of your laugh, the one I used to hear in the courtyard, and I haven’t heard it in a very long time.”
The princess agreed.
Many nights Vaun came with his device, teaching her how to be a gamer. In return she taught him about wine, and they drank a bottle a night, as merry as can be. The princess got lost in Spira, Zanarkand, and Super Mario’s world.
Eventually she turned to Vaun and said, “I would like to go to one of these lands with you.”
Vaun’s eyes glimmered at the idea. “I hear there is a place, California, where it never rains. It’s a far journey but I think you’d be pleased.”
Princess Kiara told her good news to her father. He was heartbroken and threatened to strip her of her title and jewels. She said, “I’m sorry father but I’m in love with a brilliant engineer. He inspires me to do the impossible and I must do that.”
The pair travelled far to live in a building who’s owner grew marijuana plants in their courtyard. Vaun made a business for Kiara, so she could create the jewelry she dreamt of. They adopted two creatures that destroyed their house, eating paint and wood off the walls, vacuums, an iron, a laptop, and shoes. Kiara and Vaun trained the monsters how to do high fives and learned to love them, although they still snuck into the kitchen at night to pee.
Five years passed and the princess loved Vaun more than ever. Kiara grew to adore his quirks and guitar serenades, and even though he still refused to put the cap back on the toothpaste, she wouldn’t change a thing about him.
The last full moon shone bright through their new land, as they celebrated a festival the native woman created, so their men would be a little more thoughtful once a year. Vaun also observed this day, even though he was thoughtful all year round.
Vaun despised Japanese food, but took the princess, as he frequently did, to see her smile. This Japanese restaurant was exquisite; their table cuddled to a breathtaking indoor lagoon. The princess shoved a piece of sushi adorned with shrimp in her mouth and gleefully chewed like a happy chipmunk.
Vaun smiled and asked, “Tell me good princess, why do you still love me?”
Forgetting her mouth was full she said, “I fear this day is too short to list them all, but I will try to name a few.” She finished swallowing her food. “I love you because you make the best chicken pot pie in the land, both old and new. I love you because you still compliment my ass even though it looks like a mogwai becoming a gremlin. I love you because you are there for me without question, like when I accidentally killed that baby bird and you took me to PF Changs. I love you for my Alf and Huggabunch stuffed animals and my badass record player. I love that I come home to a healthy dinner every day and after eating eat it you say, ‘Screw this. Let’s get waffles.’ I love you for buying me a laptop when mine wouldn’t work, dressing like Hook so I could spread my wings at Disneyland, and canyoneering backwards down red cliffs when you were afraid of heights. I love you for checking my closets, fighting my demons with me, and making me feel brave. I love you for understanding my confusions and pain, for laughing at my dumb jokes, and comforting my worries. I love you for teaching me its ok to be a dreamer and that there really are a few good knights out there. But most of all, I love you for your PlayStation, without which I never would’ve become the most powerful Mage I am today.”
Vaun smiled. “Tim told me to bring you diamonds and Snickers bars, but I knew the RPG was the way to go.”
Princess Kiara merrily stuffed another piece of sushi in her mouth. “It sure was.”